last night was insane. Five of us were meant to be going ended up with two, two who didnt have a clue where they were going and so forth oh had all ready been drinking at this point. eventually found the social after an hour of random walking. the random walking was more of to walk off the anger i had put rae in. she knew that scot was a twat while he was going out with her but she had been kidding herself about it i gave her a sharp reaity check, i didnt mean to though im no even sure how i did it but i did. she was pissed off, heavily. i tik at me as well which is worse but she had been holding all this in since feb so i guess its kinda good shes got it all out, she sent him a lot of angry texts and insted of insulting him with like twat she just responded o penis.... crazy girl. we had also seen too much greys antamoy and ive just managed to get my essay done that was late and ive burnt my side it hurts like fuck... bloody shower. we have t go soon fun fun fn. we ended up at the gig all ready haven had a lot of schanpps or however u spell it both neat and with lemonade. then there was me and martini, martinishould come in a double so to begin with i swear so i was kinda shocked when after askingfor a double dry martini it ended up pretty much being a quadrouple martini which scaril i drank in like three quaters of an hour max. i should not have done that, i get to a tipsy poin where i wont stop drinking, this was almost it, i had raes cider and black and then two smirnoffs which i also cant spell so yeah rather pissed. hehehe random phone calls to peple are fun although calling aus on raes phone was probs not best plan as it was 6am over there *im really sorry fo that* the gig went wel he got back to the train station and just missed the 11pm train. so we ended up sctuck in nots station freezing for two and a half hours, got food, hugled, sang some made up song which ou dont need to hear believe me. so then we finally go home afer sleeping on the trainstation floor at around 3am!!! we have school today in about 15mins to be exact. rae is still blaming me. fuck. i cant believe this ahhhhhhhhhhhh im such a mess and a bad person, why am i such a bich why id i have to say anything fuck fuck fuck fuck why am i such a horid person >.< no wonder i get drunk so much mainly cause for the most part i cant stand being me, thank you two certain ex's for doing what feels like ruining my life!!
i can even look at myself anymore and im barey eating so screw you!
how do i always make a mess of stuff... i have exams which i really honestly know nothing about or for its just in one ear out the other and just everything is so meh atm oh bugger it all to hell and back
friday fell asleep 7pm woke up saturday 2pm
i am now sitting here at 2.06 not tired at all.
this will kill me tomorrow at 8.45 when i get up
and in just over ten hours i am seeing mark, and im still awake..... damn it.... i dont know why i was so tired earlier i just was maybe becuase the dreams have been stopping me sleep? i have no idea 1am is a good time to have a shower though.... yeah thats all really...
'we are mindless self indulgence and we are NOT from Sweeden' - MSI
'The louder you scream the quicker these pants come off' - MSI
'Anyone have sex last night??? Anyone have sex in a bathroom last night???' - AAR
That festival rocked it was so awesome I cant explain although living off pretty much veggie burgers all weekend was an experience lol. I ache so much still lol
The line up although it kept changing last min was awesome.
over all thebands rocked. Rae was with us on friday and it really felt like she should have been there all weekend bless her cotton socks and shes the one who doesnt come across as the rocker type lol. oooh and she drove us down, normally rae is a great driver although on this occasion well she just wasnt. We nearly crashed three times, one into a lorry it was so scary but so much fun and bradleys satnav is shit. I could direct better than that!!! at least i tell you the turn off before the turn off as in i give you time to switch lanes lol.
The B&B was so comfy, sharing a bed with rae though was.. itneresting she snores and tickles me damn it... emma bless her slept in a big huge pile of quilt next to the radiator bless, bradley and milton slept in the other room.
The guys also decided to come into our room and watch tv when we were asleep!!! damn them!!! we threw them out rather fast though. Also turns out that most the GIAN people were in one block which was kinda cool although we only saw the people who arrived the same time as us lol. Three girls in a bathroom trying to sort out hair and make up and needing the loo is also funny.
oh and emma make sure next time i try and call rae i dont call her dad thinking its bradley lol!!
Mark turned up saturday and rae went home for work. Mark also turned up with a rose bless him although roses dont like gigs too much but dont mind being in old smirnoff ice bottles lol.... hehehe wine and smirnoff lol not together obviously
crazy moshing is fun.......
anything else that i have drastically forgotten???
nothing much to report to be honest with you.
c/w will be the death of me.
i need to change my hair...
our history teacher Mrs Liddle has finally left, she was going to resign at may when we all left school but becuase of her husband she decided to leave sooner. Im so upset at this, this woman is the greatest history teacher in the school, well to me at least, she has taught me since year 8 so 6 years now. We knew this day wouldbe comming round but im still upset and in shock, she is a real legend, she inspired me to stick with history not only through GCSE but also Alevel, she helped me when I wanted to follow it as a career and was still there and supported me when I told her I had changed my mind, this woman is amazing and is too good for this to happen to her she really does rock and knowing that we and no one else in this school will get the pleasure of her teaching make me sad. To be honest im going to miss her thatmuch and feel so sorry for her im almost in tears which is wierd for me her being a teacher and all but she is just so awesome, unless you had the pleasure of her teaching you really wont be bale to understand how wonderful, amazing and strong this woman is. x
had a great weekend this weekend, most of it spent with just me and mark which was nice and we also got see kim for a little while which was just plain fun lol.
we saw 300 that movie is just epic everyone should see it :D
question... what does it mean when home doesnt feel like home anymore and it becomes just a house that you live in even if all the things in your room are yours it just doesnt feel right anymore, sort of empty and life less?
I got some trainers... havent worn any since like what year 9? lived in converse and undergrounds ( <3 ) so yeah its odd. Offically start fencing on thurs woo!!! hence the trainers and plus running is a tad hard in converse the souls are too hard me thinks well cross country they are.... might be me... im fussy with shoes lol.
I owuld have gone running today but it was that cold and windy and just yuk outside that i decided against it, tempted to go tomorrow but it depends how i feel and on weather etc.... MSUT DO HISTORY ESSAY ANS ENGLISH NOTES!!! *mental note*
I think in york we should scare people and at least one day wonder round like are rpg charecters from the naurto game what you think? lmao
hmm today was generally boring... 6 months to college so long!!!!!!!!!! *wants to go now but also wants summer*
get to see mark on friday *happy* should really get my stuff from naomis cause i kinda need it and need my hamlet book which is at kims >.< also need to see kim and steph etc generally cause I just miss their crazy-ness they really are the craziest people I know
yeah I think thats it, ooo cant wait for GIAN!!
You are The Moon
Hope, expectation, Bright promises.
The Moon is a card of magic and mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems, particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the window.
The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.
What Tarot Card are You?
Two pictures of my RPG charecter Sky. hehehe she rules Il ove her so much lol.
She has purple and black hair but cause my scanner smells it doesnt really show. The skirt is also a few shades lighter but again scanner lol. The first picture is sky normally and the second is when she at home/around family (her family dont like most of her clothes). And yes purple boots... :D
damn it I want her outfit!
im scared, i get all my history results back tomorrow and my geog resist and my english c.w results back im not so sure history as i think was ok coursework better bloody be ok after the hours i spent on that and geog i was happy with my normal grade so meh and history A2 miss liddle will kill us all if we have less than a B im 95% i wont get a B and may have to re-sit in summer so yeah stess not good not knowing what to do about the whole lets go see daddy dearest thing isnt helping to be honest.
i just mis read something that says fear of flying client as fear of the flying client lmao sorry it amused me and i also would be afraid if there was a flying client lol
god i wish it was saturday.
havent done a journal in a while so thought I should, besides I have some stuff I want to write down.
Valentines was awesome the night before we were at amandas and rp'd for a while which was a lot of fun, poor amanda was ill though and on her birthday *valentines day* On valentines Mark, kim, steph and myself went to the movies to see blood and chocolate. Interesting film good though I must admit. Me and mark went home and just had a nice us evening.
Friday *2nd March* was fun. Was up in sheff with kim and steph as I had no/little school so yeah. hehehe swords are so much fun... mum honestly thought that playing with them would put me off wanting to go fencing or at least get it out my system... yeah......
The chips were nice well bar the 'extra' woodlouse (sp?) that seemed to appear in steph chips... least it was free though lol
The gig this weekend was very very awesome. We saw NIN I got the tickets for marks birthday and he loved it which made me even happier ^.^ His response to NIN was mine to AFI and I am ghost put together :P getting lost on the way back is always a bonus.
Mark lost his phone though, that wasnt good. Whats worse is we have found it nor know where it is or where we lost it.
The party ideas are going well hehehehe no emos :P - and no i cant just do 'normal' fancy dress come on guys this is me lol
I cried on sunday. I dont ike cryinga tthe best of times even though yeah I get that everyone has to cry at some point I just dont like it. Whats worse is that I wasnt alone and even worse was that it was in public... starbucks in nottingham to be exact. I didnt mean to... just my dad just causes that sort of reaction or rather lack of. I like to pretend it doesnt bother me because ive never had one to deal with but it really does.
Oh and mum: I DONT want you there when i go see him. Its going to be hard enough as it is without that as well. I dont want it more awkward (sp?) than needed.
I realise I also miss being close to God well in a beliving sense or just believing in anything. Its odd. I left when I was like 5 I mean I dont 'believe' now I just miss something and I cant place it.
P.S. if anyone has issues with how I spend my spare time please let me know but let me give you my reasons as well and just becuase you dont agree with it doesnt mean I will stop, either just accept it and shut up about it or just dont come with me or even simpler dont mention it. I like who I am for the most part and I like what I do it makes me me so back off yeah?
not sure when I wrote this year 10 I think
Peace and tranquillity had been restored to England. The evil witch was defeated and for many years Alexander and Isabel ruled their kingdom in peace. However, that was all about to change as one sunny day a small boy dressed in an earthy coloured tunic came running up to the castle demanding to see the king and queen. The guards refused him entry as he did not have an appointment with either of them. The boy whose name was Peter sat patiently under a willow tree hoping that both the king and queen would go out for a walk as it was such a fine day.
He did not have to wait very long. He had just decided to have a little nap when he heard the king and queen approaching. With out thought he jumped out from underneath the tree and stood right in front of the king.
“Who are you?” demanded the king “what is your business here?”
“Forgive me my lord” said Peter as he bowed “but I have been sent to worn you”
“Go on” said the king intrigued by the thought of danger.
“The great troll Thor has awoken from his thousand year sleep. Even as we speak it is heading this way”
“Good god lad why didn’t you tell us before? Many lives are in danger and you did not think to worn us sooner?”
“Forgive me my good lord; I tried to warn you but that big oaf of a guard wouldn’t let me in”
“I see, thank you for warning us. If we survive I promise I will greatly reward you.”
“Thank you so much my lord shall I run and go get your sword and armour.”
“Why thank you.”
The young lad jumped to his feet at the excitement of helping the king. He ran straight to the armoury which thankfully was not to far away. But as soon as Peter reached the outer courtyard he sensed something was wrong. Suddenly he heard foot steps. Peter turned around, to his horror he was confronted by the evil lord Donavan.
“Looking for this?” Snarled Donavon holding up Alvanté, the kings favourite sword.
“Give it back. Or suffer the consequences.” Peter said trying to stop Donavan from leaving with the sword.
“Why what are you going to do? Let me guess you will run off and go the king to come get it back from me since you’re too scared to fight me yourself.”
“I not scared!” peter shouted anger growing inside of him.
“Well in that case, catch.” With that he through a sword at Peter.
“If we must. Prepare to die.”
“Brave words for saying you’re not even a knight. To the death peasant boy.”
With that Donavan lunged at Peter skilfully dodged. The clinking of swords could be heard all over the court yard. They fought in the armoury. Peter soon managed to get Donavon outside into the court yard where they gathered quite a crowd. Most of the crowd through what mouldy fruit and vegetables they could find at Donavan, others cheered Peter on. Peter had Donavan pinned to the ground when all of a sudden the ground began to shake.
The crowd ran away screaming. Only Donavan and Peter were left standing in the court yard. Donavan just stood there frozen to the spot. Suddenly he let out a high pitched whistle. A Black and gold chariot appeared floating in mid air. The strange thing was that the chariot was not pulled by horses but by three black dragons. Without hesitation Donavon jumped into the chariot.
“Would give you a lift but this chariot is for evil only.”
With that he flew away leaving peter standing in the court yard confronted by the 20ft dragon.
Now when most people see dragons they just stand there for a couple of minutes and then run for their life…not in this case. Peter suddenly remembered that he was holding the kings sword. The dragon lunged forward narrowly missing his tunic, peter dogged just in time. Peter lunged at the dragon and managed to chop a huge hole through his left wing. The dragon reared up and screeched in pain. This was peters chance; he lunged forward and pierced the dragon’s heart. The dragon fell to the fall and there, he died.
Peter started at the corpse, and for the first time he truly felt like a knight. Suddenly he remembered that he had to go and save the king for surely he could not handle a fully grown giant on his own. So he ran to the cave of lost hope where he knew the troll lived.
When he arrived he had a horrible feeling that he was two late… Peter crept through the mass of bones which were probably the remains of pervious knights who had come to slay the troll. Peter crept on. As he got nearer to the trolls lair he could smell rotting flesh. Peter began to run when suddenly he ran into something hard and smelly. The troll. He looked straight into the troll’s eyes and without thinking he plunged the sword into the troll’s heart. It let out a painful cry and the ground shook as the troll crashed to the floor.
Peter slowly walked round the troll to where the king was sitting. He helped the king top get up.
“Thank you Peter as a reward I will grant you the right to become a knight.”
Peter just stood there in shock. When he finally came to his senses he said “Thank you your highness you are indeed very kind.”
With that they walked out of the cave and back towards the castle.
a story i wrote years ago i was i nyear nine now in 13 do the maths lol there is three but I never did the third i still have plans ive just lost my touch. This is here cause i need to save a copy and be able to get to it without it being on deviantart :'(
*its a childs story*
The Duchesses Tale
It was a time when Britain was a land under war and siege, the mist swirling around the purple heather moors, a Knight dressed from head to toe in armour that sparkled in the light of the slivery moon appeared from the distance. He was on his way to a dangerous task to free the one thing he desired most: This was not gold or riches but something hard to find, true love. He loved a girl called Isabel. She was of the royal family and had been betrothed at birth to her cousin Lord Donavan. At her coming of age he would become her husband.
As Alexander rode deeper into the heart of the dense wood, his horse was suddenly startled. It reared up and sent Alexander crashing onto the solid ground beneath him. Dazed and bruised, he rose to his feet. Taking the reins, he continued on foot, wondering what could have startled his horse. In the distance he heard the snapping of a twig. “Who’s there?” but there was no response. He carried on until he came to what looked like a small abandoned house on the edge of a dense wood. Tired and weary, he decided to rest for the night. Up to the old wooden door he walked and tied his horse to the nearby post.
On entering the house, he stared in fright at the many jars of herbs, spices and potions. A curious smell lingered in the air. This was no house but a place used for spells and magic. “I should not be here but I must rest for the night.” So he lay his fair head on the stone floor and pulled a thin, brown, moth eaten blanket over him, for it was a bitter cold night.
In the morning he awoke startled. As he looked around the sun was shining through the stain glass windows. He went out to look for his horse. He was nowhere to be found. All he could see was the rope that had held the horse in place the evening before. Alexander continued his journey on foot. At the edge of the forest he saw in the distance a castle. The king was pacing the corridors waiting and worried about the late arrival of the Knight. Alexander was to fight for the right to marry the Princess. Alexander and Lord Donavan were to compete in a Jousting Tournament. The victor would marry the Princess.
Meanwhile the knight was heading up to the Gatehouse. “If you hear me, my King then let me in, for I am ready to fight for your daughter’s hand in marriage. Time passed slowly; eventually the Knight entered the old stone castle; he gazed in wonder at the beautiful tapestries and Coats of Arms hanging on the walls. Preparations for the evening banquet had already begun.
Princess Isabel was in her room combing her hair, while waiting for her lady in waiting to attend to her when she heard a noise just out side the window. She slowly walked over to the window. When she looked down she saw a haw cart underneath her window. She thought it was very unusual as market day was three days away; oh well she thought as she turned to go back to her dressing table. When she turned around she was a greeted by a horrible looking figure in dressed in a peasants dress; she quickly ushered Isabel back to her seat where she produced some very strong smelling salts from her pocket and forced Isabel to smell them. As soon as she smelt the salts she fainted. Quickly and quietly the lady in waiting, (who was actually an evil witch) placed Isabel into a bag and through her out the window. Thankfully she landed in the cart of straw. The witch followed and drove off into the forest.
In the great hall the king announced that any Nobleman who successfully rescued the princess would marry his daughter.
“Be careful for it is rumoured that an evil witch lurks around these parts and can transform herself into any form she wishes.”
The race was then on between Lord Donavan and Alexander. They searched high and low but to no avail. The evil witch Rhona had whisked her away and locked her in the black tower. The key was then placed in the witch’s heart and could not be retrieved unless she was slain.
Alexander rose first that morning to find the tower. Unbeknown to him, he was followed by Lord Donavan who then hid in the undergrowth so as not to be seen. There was a huge screeching roar and a hot flame of fire came out of a dragon’s mouth. The witch had transformed herself into the dragon. Alexander, dressed in his fine blue robes, lunged at the dragon, missed and with the second attempt struck the dragon in the heart. The dragon turned back into her true self-a young lady dressed in black with long blonde hair tied back in a plait.
“I am sorry my lady but what has been done had to be done,” said the Knight.
“I understand,” and as she said that she vanished and in her place was the tower’s purple key.
“Yes!” said the Knight but as he was about to reach for the key he was stopped in his tracks by the Lord as he skilfully leapt in front of him and stole the key.
“I’ll catch you,” said the Knight as he chased after Lord Donavan to the tower.
On reaching the tower, Lord Donavan unlocked the door with the purple key, climbed several flights of stairs and let out an ear-piercing scream. Alexander was close behind. By this time Lord Donavan was on his way down the stairs.
“What ever is the matter?”
“Don’t climb the stairs for an ugly creature awaits.” Lord Donavan made his escape.
This did not discourage Alexander; he continued to climb the stairs. Entering through the wooden door at the top of the tower, he found himself in a room with a deep red carpet, oak fireplace and throne. Sitting on the throne was the most repulsive woman he had ever seen.
“Don’t be afraid this is not my true appearance.”
“Then what is it?”
“This,” she said as she removed the mask from her face. I am Princess Isabel not everything is as it seems.”
Hmm well tuesday to thrus this week was how do we put this bloody awesome?
Tuesday morning and early afternoon I was in town with ems.... havent done that in a while and it was a good laugh ok I admit I am just a litte bit crazy on the duck front but oh well its ducks there so well duck like :P but yesh that was fun.
Clara to be honest I dont want to meet Rik unless I happen to be in the same place at the same time im sure hes a nice enough guy and all that but you are no longer a big part of my life had you not failed to notice since we barely even say hi anymore so yeah.
RPG was well interesting... in a good way obviously. Makes a change from text based ones but a much better one thats for sure. I think im now going to end up finding text based ones very slow and boring but hey. Mark you really are an evil and cruel GM. Guys please keep me posted with what happens if possible its way too fun not to know and manda, get well soon xxx
Valentines day was nice, blood and chocolate is a good film... hollywood doing a pro 'lycan' movie was pretty interesting... still very very good even if im more pro vamp lol. The rose was loverly thank you mark and subway still rocks and in my opinion my subway beats yours mark :P hehehe also told you shakespeare in love was a good film :D .
As for what im going to call the text message situation well I dont care do what ever you want in the world its your choice but I doubt im going to pick up the pieces anymore well not if it was your fault. *dont ask*
why is it when you move on life away from one type of friend who does you know good what so ever you end up finding someone who is almost the same as them in another person but with a few minor differences. The world is odd.
Oh and kim, steff, manda... I am your God hehehe *inoccent look*
havent been on in a while so thought I would update....
hmmm last weekend *3rd of feb* was Steve and Tracys wedding *marks dad and his now step mum?* I to be hoenst was really really nervous, but it all went well and they like me so yay. It was a really good night tiring but good. And yes on occasion I do dance. ALthough if i ever here gerad ways voice at the sart of welcome to the black parade first thing ie 6am in the morning again I will kill something. and donna when she is stressed is scary. Alex and Oliva are pretty cool to so yeah all good.
College interview friday a hour and a half.... im scared not drastically as of yet but still nervous I dropped art in year 9 which doesnt help nerves. I also have idea on big photography people i can tell you the themes of hamlet and russian history but not photographers.
emma and luke.... they will get together i will make sure of it!! they are so right for each other and really like each other... damn their shyness... he is i have been informed however taking her out for valentines day for a meal so I would assume things are progressing.
and yeah right now thats about all
I'VE GOT AN INTERVIEW FOR BURTON COLLEGE... NEXT FRIDAY :D :D :D
havent posted in a while, no need to to be honest. Not got much to say to be fair.
I wrote something today, a poem its odd i dont understand it at all well i do and yet I dont it jsut shows what my mind creates when im not paying attention. With me and writing it works like this i just write I barely realise i do it I just see the words in my head and write them done and then poem. ISmple as although can be rather inconvient especially if I have no paper or am in an exam >.<
heres the poem anyways its also up on my deviantart
Yesterday is hell
im such an odd person
I think decaying roses are very very beautiful and I could sit and stare at them for hours.
Word of the journal: obsequious meaning servile, franing; (arch) obedient , dutiful
Some reason I find cinematic and litterary deals with vampires fully humourous. I have no idea why... but then again in the re-make of the Omen when the sign falls down and cuts that dudes head off and all you see is it bouncing down the street just cracks me up...
I have an odd head...
but its mine.. I like it odd
........... mostly :P
Several things confuse me right now....
One: How one earth did Mark manage to stay in bed until 6pm!!! WITHOUT waking up once!!! that is possible... I was up at 6.45AM but 6PM thats insane!
Two: Plans for london, yes its going to be in the easter holls i know but still confused about what who and where
Three: Faith... how can people have undoubting faith in something that they believe to be there/real etc *not having a go at any form of religion I just dont understand that fact*
Four: Why the hell am I ill!!!!
Five: Why the hell am I ill this close to exams???
Six: Why am I contemplating buying skinny/emo jeans???
Seven: When did I worry about what jeans I did or didnt wear???
Eight: See one!
IF ANYONE HAS ANY ANSWERS TO ANY OF THESE QUESTION PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW... THANKIES XXX
Revision i have come to the conclusion is the hseer baine of my existance, well for the moment. You see if I had actually stuck to my plan of revising a while back even as far back as summer i wouldn't this annoyed or pissed off about revision but then despite my text book now being organised im really not organised.
So im sitting here having spent some of today and most of yesterday revising, you know what, I dont remember any of it. Honestly. This worries me, a lot cause this isnt excatly this years exams nu-uh these are last years which are a lot worse well last summers. AS level resits or in the case of history, sitting the exam to begin with. The problem is if i fuck up my history from last year *which is likely if you've seen the revision load* then do well on the history from my A2 *this year... although this is again very unlikely, I really dont like politics or stalin etc* then im in trouble, big trouble. Least if both exams go shit I have my c/w. A 3,000 word essay on the leadership of Mao Zedong ^^;
SO right now im only stressing an iny winy bit. Ok im lying, im stressing quite a bit, i also am slightly beating myself up over not revising sooner I knew that I should have, I told myself everyday that I had spare time I should have to revise, but did I, of course not. I really have no focus.
Somewhere in the back of my mind is the theory that I will come out of this fine and in a sense if I dont who gives a fuck, ive got college next year, im starting again, doing something I actually have an interest in. Hopefully its graded on project work, im in trouble if its not. Oh and being stubborn as I am I wont let my mum help me with any of thies, stupid I know. *shrugs* sometimes i think I could be too difficult for my own good.
Oh and Mark, Naomi please sort out about getting the base back down here, yes I know you are both very busy but it would mean a lot if you could manage to work this out. I think im going to have to buy phil beer for all this lol.
I have to stop moaning and getting stressed, one day ill be organised... no I wont this is me.
A very happy christmas, yule, winter solstice w/e just have a good time of year :D
And very happy new year to!
*hugs to all*
Some new photos of mine I thought I would share... ^.^
ALL iamges are copyrighted to me
The question is my love are we dead or merely sleeping?
The world is a perfect place
Dead or merely sleeping
A living source of death